


Reverse Formatting

by HawkyBarton



Series: OTP and Fanfic Brigade (Prompts galore) [32]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, Fluff, M/M, darcy should not be allowed to name things, i have no other tags, i pulled a kathy reichs and bones, steve and clint are still in avengers, steve says gosh the dork, they all have weird names for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 02:19:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3711148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HawkyBarton/pseuds/HawkyBarton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Coulson is owner of SHIELD Coffee shoppe</p>
<p>Darcy is his assistant.</p>
<p>Steve Rogers and Clint Barton are the stars of the hottest new Whedon movie, and they just wanted some coffee.</p>
<p>Who knew coffee could do so much?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reverse Formatting

**Author's Note:**

> Anon asked: ‘you’re a celebrity incognito trying to hide from paparazzi and you’re sitting right next to me and i’m the only one that recognizes you’ AU with both Starcy and Phlint 
> 
> ~I slightly tweaked it, hope anon still likes it!

Phil Coulson and rolled his head round his neck, before sighing. “God today has been long”

Darcy Lewis, his only assistant at the Coffee Shop _SHIELD (So Hot It’ll ELiminate Drowsiness._ Darcy’s idea of course), nudged him with her elbow. “You need to chilax boss-man, you haven’t taken a break in like… ever…“

Phil rolled his eyes, “There are only two people that work here Darce. I can’t take a break”

Darcy just huffed and walked around the counter to go wipe down the tables, “Hire more staff boss-man! You make more than enough money for it!”

Phil sighed, “I’m tempted…. I’m sorely tempted”

 

*******

Steve Rogers (one of the sexiest lead men of Hollywood) looked over at Clint Barton (one of the sexiest lead men of Hollywood) and sighed, “Are you _sure_ no one will recognize us? I mean, we’re currently filming a Joss Whedon movie…”

Clint rolled his eyes, “Dude. We’re a quiet area of downtown New York, and we’re not trying to attract attention. I mean jesus, nobody is even looking at us. Chill”

Steve looked around and noticed that nobody was looking at them, just like Clint said. “Fine. But if we get mobbed, I’m blaming it on you”

Clint snorted, “Everybody does”

 

*******

Darcy looked up from where she was cleaning the tables as the door chimed, “Hello! Welcome to SHIELD broskis! How may I be of service?”

The two gentlemen ( _built_ gentlemen, Darcy might add), just looked at each other for a moment. The taller of the two ( _Beefcake McHotty)_ walked over to her, and smiled “Uhm… You guys do coffee, right?”

Darcy winked, “You betcha. So Hot It’ll ELiminate Drowsiness!”

The shorter of the two men ( _Muscley arms McTightpants)_ laughed, “Oh my god please tell me that is not how you named the shop”

“Unfortunately, it is.” Darcy turned and pouted as Phil stepped forward, “Hi. I’m Phil Coulson, owner. That’s Darcy, assistant.” Darcy waved and winked. “How can we help you?”

 

*******

_Holy shit that guy is smoking hot, fuck me with a broomstick.  
_

Clint coughed and appreciated the fact that he was wearing sunglasses, so his ogling wasn’t noticeable. “We’re actually on a lunch break…. We heard this was an excellent place for coffee and paninis?”

Phil Coulson ( _PaperPusher McProbablyhasabigdick)_ just smiled and walked over to the counter with his assistant…. Darcy? Darcy. “Just tell us what you want and we’ll get it for you”

Clint grinned and walked up with Steve, unconsciously taking off his sunglasses to wipe the residue off on his shirt. 

  
  
*******

_Dear lord those are the bluest eyes I have ever seen in my lifetime._ Phil thought to himself after the smaller of the two men that entered SHIELD had taken off his glasses. 

“I’ll have a strong black coffee, and  turkey and swiss panini….. With a chocolate chip muffin” Blue eyes said to Phil. 

Phil, being the dork he is, nodded blankly and imputed the information without even looking down. _God, I hope my mouth is closed.  
_

The taller of the two spoke his order and Phil nodded, smiling as they walked to a table after paying (and covertly watching Blue Eyes ass)

Turning around, Phil walked to the coffee machine to start their coffees. 

“ _Phil.”_ Darcy hissed next to him. 

“Hmm?” 

“Phildidyounotrecognizethemholyfuckhowdidinotrecognizethemimmediately” Darcy rushed out.

Phil blinked as he sat aside their coffees and went to the panini press, “Was any of that English?”

Darcy huffed and hissed again, “ _Over there is Clint Barton and Steve Rogers.”_

Phil raised an eyebrow, “Who?”

Darcy gaped, “Wshwjswldweffrefr. Boss-man! Holy fuck, Clint Barton and Steve Rogers…. You know, _Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner from the Avengers movies?_ _Captain America and Hawkeye_? Any of this ringing a bell?!?!?!?!“

Phil frowned for a moment before his eyes went wide as he immediately shot a look at the two men, “Holy havana”

“Holy havana is right boss-man”

 

*******

Steve watched as the coffee shop began to pick up the pace on their customers not 15 minutes after he and Clint had sat down. 

“We’re gonna get found out” he mumbled to Clint. His eyes watching the assistant, Darcy, flit around the shop. _Gosh she’s pretty.  
_

“We’re not gonna get found out, _chill_ Steve. Seriously.”

Steve groaned as Clint _took off his goddamn glasses again,_ and thunked his head against the table.

 

*******

Darcy covertly watched _Steve Fucking Rogers and Clint Fucking Barton,_ as she spun around the shop making sure their dwindling afternoon rushers had everything they need. 

Eventually she spun her way back over to Coulson and plopped next to him, “You know boss-man... I should like.... Talk to him”

Phil looked at her, “Talk to who?”

“ _Steve Rogers”_

Phil rolled his eyes, “Let me eat and drink in peace. They came here to get away from the masses, they don’t want fans attacking them right now”

Darcy mock gasped, “I would not _attack!”_

Phil chuckled, “Alright Miss Dramatic. Write Steve or Clint a note and leave it on the table. Don’t pressure them, okay?”

Darcy grinned and leaned up to kiss Phil on the cheek, “Thanks boss-man”

 

*******

Clint glowered as the assistant kissed Phil on the cheek. _Are they together? Is Phil straight? Fuck me, I have no chance.  
_

Clint sighed and looked back at his coffee, ignoring the assistant (but not being rude about it) when she skipped over and dropped a piece of paper on the table. 

Clint looked at it for a second, but allowed Steve to read it (the poor man was trying his damnedest not to watch the assistant’s ass as she walked away). 

Clint was just looking back down at his coffee when he heard Steve choke. Frowning, Clint looked up at him. “You okay?”

Steve just shook his head and shoved the paper at Clint.

Raising an eyebrow, Clint took the paper and read it.

**_We know that you’re Steve Rogers and Clint Barton._ **

**_Don’t worry, we aren’t gonna say anything or fangirl.  
_ **

**_But FYI, Phil wants to join the Barton bang train, and I wouldn’t mind taking a ride on the SS Rogers._ **

**_~Darcy Lewis (and Phil Coulson)  
_ **

Clint choked on his sip of coffee and set down his cup. 

_Holy fucking shit .  
_

 

_*******_

Phil was cleaning up the espresso machine when he heard a cough behind him

Turning around, Phil pasted a smile on his face when he spotted Clint Barton at the counter. “Hello, want a refill?”

Clint just shook his head, “Nah I’m good. How about dinner  though?“

Phil blushed, “Uh sir. We don’t do dinner”

Clint just laughed and leaned against the counter, _good god his arms,_ “I know you don’t. I meant like... a date at a restaurant”

Phil blinked, “Uh.....”

Clint winked, “7 okay?”

Phil nodded, as Clint sauntered away. _What just happened.  
_

_  
~_

_I have never in my life been that direct. Holy fuck, how did that work?_

Clint sat back down across from Steve, “I have a date. Your turn Rogers”

Steve groaned, “She’s gonna turn me down”

Clint rolled his eyes, “For one of the sexiest men in Hollywood, you have no ego man. SS Rogers, remember? Go get a slice of the Darcy pie”

Steve sighed and stood up, walking in the direction of where Darcy was cleaning a table.

 

*******

Darcy was humming along to the radio over the speakers at the shop when she felt a light tap at her shoulder. 

Turning around, Darcy was surprised to see Steve Rogers standing at her shoulder.

“Hello, how may I help you?”

Steve just looked at her, “Would you... uh... like to... uhm... goonadatewithme?”

Darcy, well versed in the art of sentence in a word-ish, nodded, “Hell yeah. Pick me up here at 7 cute stuff”

Steve just blushed and nodded before scurrying away. 

Darcy smirked, _score for the Darcy.  
_

 

~

Steve sat down at the table, “She said yes”

Clint snorted, “Told you she would.... What time are you picking her up?”

Steve blushed and looked down at his cappuccino, “7″

“Oh cool me too”

Steve sighed and shook his head fondly, “Natasha and Bucky aren’t gonna believe this shit”

 

*******

**Hollywood heart-throbs: Clint Barton and Steve Rogers seen on what looks like a _double-date_ with a mystery man and women. Who could they be?!**

**Hollywood heart-throbs: Clint Barton and Steve Rogers still dating mystery man and woman, still no clues on to who they are.**

**Hollywood heart-throbs: Clint Barton and Steve Rogers bring mystery man and woman to the premiere of _Avengers 2: Age of Ultron.  
_**

**Hollywood heart-throbs: Clint Barton and Steve Rogers marry their mystery partners in double wedding somewhere in New York. No photos have yet to be discovered.**

**SHIELD coffee shoppe now home to Hollywood stars who are in New York. The two owners: Phil Coulson and Darcy Lewis, look suspiciously familiar. Coincidence? Or not?**

**Author's Note:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


End file.
